Examples Of Dignity That Show EVERYBODY Is Selfish In Survival State (Yes, You Too)

Wanna know why the rawest examples of dignity prove that everybody is selfish in survival state? This post is dedicated to shaking up how you see humanity, and hopefully, restoring a little faith in our wonderful species.

You’ve probably seen it: people get selfish when they feel broke, triggered, overlooked, or starving for a little acknowledgement of their value & significance. It’s not because they’re bad people; it’s because their brain flips into survival mode. That’s where dignity feels taken from you, and suddenly, self-protection matters more than anything else. You’ve been there too; you wanted to feel safe, not ‘nice.’ And it can feel messy, because you hate that darker side of yourself while also knowing it’s part of being human. Overachievers are usually very bothered about this clash; you want to do big things, but you’re stuck in loops of self-protective behaviour.

What you’re going to learn is how dignity is the missing link in all of this. I’ll show you concrete examples of dignity where selfishness shows up, so you can recognise that these reactions are not proof that you’re bad or broken, but that your nervous system is protecting you!!! And the beauty is, as with all subconscious parts becoming conscious: when you see it, you can hack it.

After you have learned to spot dignity violations and survival reactions, you will be able to build kick-ass confidence and emotional freedom. You’ll feel wayyy more in control of your bandwidth and energy, more aligned with what actually resonates with you, and better able to self-actualise instead of self-protect.

This post is all about examples of dignity, so you can start giving yourself a break ‘for being selfish’, and shift focus towards what you are protecting when you ARE acting selfishly.

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Examples Of Dignity

Donna Hicks, PhD, literally wrote the book on dignity. Her claim is bold: every selfish reaction you see in yourself or others is rooted in dignity violations. When you feel stripped of value, your nervous system flips a switch. Suddenly, survival comes first, not the relationship, not the team, not the bigger picture.

That survival state is selfish by design. Nobody escapes it, and you can’t just ‘snap out of it’. But the flip side is that when you feel safe, seen, and valued, your whole personality shifts. You become civil again, generous, collaborative, patient. This is what makes dignity such a game-changer. It’s not about forcing yourself to be ‘nice,’ it’s about reclaiming your dignity so your shadow doesn’t hijack you.

That’s WHY understanding examples of dignity matters; it explains your survival instincts and shows you how to get your humanity and your full power back.

Example 1: The Empty Wallet Effect

Picture this: you’re broke, rent is looming, and you’re eyeing that last slice of pizza on the table. Do you share? Hell no, you grab it. In survival state, generosity shrinks. Resources are as essential to survival as oxygen; when you don’t have it, every part of your system screams mine, mine, mine. The second your wallet feels safer, though, everything changes. Suddenly, you’re the one buying rounds, spotting a friend lunch, or donating without thinking twice. It’s NOT a personality switch; it’s proof that dignity flips when safety does.

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When you feel broke, your dignity is on trial. Society already makes overachievers feel like they’re never enough, and that sting digs deep when you can’t cover your own basics. That shadow voice kicks in: if you don’t look out for yourself, nobody will. And it’s right, in survival state. You’re not greedy; you’re guarded. But when your bills are paid, you stand taller. Your nervous system calms down. You can afford to care for others because your dignity, safety & survival are no longer under attack.

That’s the real pattern. It’s not about being stingy or generous as a character trait. It’s about dignity, safety, and survival colliding in your nervous system. When you know this, you stop calling yourself a bad person for ‘thinking of yourself first.’ You weren’t selfish; you were surviving. And when survival is handled, your generosity proves it.

Example 2: The Traffic Jam Jungle

Ever noticed how haste, or other triggering scarcity mindsets, turn people into absolute animals? Cutting each other off, blocking intersections, laying on the horn. Makes sense now, right? In survival state, the car becomes an armoured shell, and every driver inside is fighting for inches. Nobody is out there thinking, let’s build community today. It’s about protecting your space, your time, your dignity. And the second you feel squeezed, the shadow part of you screams louder than your polite part. Or, as Daniel Goleman would point out, your survival state hijacked your decent state.

Now switch the scene. Same drivers, but an open highway. Suddenly everyone’s calm, waving each other in, leaving safe distances, letting somebody merge. Civility returns because the sense of scarcity is gone. This isn’t a story about ‘bad drivers.’ It’s a story about how dignity shrinks when space feels scarce. Survival mode says protect your lane. Safety says, hey, we can share.

When you realise this, you stop calling yourself aggressive for snapping under pressure. You were surviving. Something had to be protected, even if that was only ‘perceived’, your brain still responds to that for real. But. Once safety floods back in, dignity restores itself. Always. (Well, actually, there is a little footnote about trauma & how the body keeps the score, but since this blogpost should not turn into a trauma theory thesis, let’s put that aside for now)

Example 3: The Group Project Grab

Think about the last group project you were in. Maybe at work, maybe at school. When credit and recognition felt scarce, people fought for airtime, hogged ideas, and even sabotaged each other. The vibe was all about me first, because dignity felt like it was on the line. When status or survival in the workplace feels threatened, even brilliant overachievers will grab for scraps like it’s the Hunger Games.

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But change the culture. Put people in a team where credit is shared, recognition flows, and everyone feels valued. Suddenly, collaboration has a chance to bloom. Ideas get tossed around freely, people uplift each other, and competition turns into inspiration. Same people, completely different behaviour. Why? Because safety affects your decency! When you know you matter, you don’t need to clutch your piece of the pie; you want to bake more pie.

For overthinkers, this pattern is dangerous. You replay that meeting where you interrupted, or the time you pulled back your idea because you didn’t feel safe. You beat yourself up for being selfish, or for hiding. But what was really happening? Your dignity felt under attack, and survival took over. That’s not weakness; that’s wiring.

Once you see it, you can flip the script. You can create your own pockets of safety, even in cutthroat cultures, so your full brilliance shows. That’s how you outsmart survival mode and reclaim your humanity.

Example 4: The Restaurant Rage

Let’s be real. We’ve all seen someone lose their cool at a waiter for messing up an order. Maybe you’ve even done it yourself. Hungry, stressed, or already feeling invisible, and suddenly that wrong dish feels like the last straw. So. You snap. Survival state makes you protect yourself first, even if it looks rude to everyone else. Dignity feels bruised, so the shadow lashes out.

But rewind the tape. Same person, but this time they’ve already eaten, they’re relaxed, they feel respected. The waiter screws up again, but now? They laugh it off, they’re patient, they tip anyway. Their nervous system isn’t screaming survival, so their dignity expands. They can afford to be civil, because safety is intact.

This is where overachievers often torture themselves. You tell yourself you’re a terrible person for losing it. But the truth is, you were hungry, you were stripped of value, you were unsteady. Your dignity was hijacked. That doesn’t make you cruel; it makes you human. And when you learn to track these dignity triggers, you stop collapsing into guilt. Instead, you start building strategies to restore your own sense of safety faster, so your civil, generous self shows up more often.

Dignity is not about pretending you’re always nice. It’s about knowing that safety flips the switch, and you’re in charge AND RESPONSIBLE for flipping it back.

Examples Of Dignity (Summary)

Donna Hicks makes it clear: dignity violations hijack you into selfish survival mode. When safety feels stripped away, your brain puts self-protection over everything. That’s not proof you’re bad; it’s proof your nervous system is doing its job.

The examples of dignity here (money, traffic, group projects, and restaurants) show you exactly how it plays out. The strategy isn’t to ‘force kindness,’ but to understand that safety restores civility. When you know your triggers, you can design your life to feel safer, reclaim dignity, and show up in your best light.

Imagine what happens when you do this consistently. You stop reacting like the world is against you. You start living like your place in it is secure. Your generosity grows, your collaborations thrive, and your emotional energy shifts from surviving to actualising. That’s the kind of upgrade that makes life worth living.

I wish you the courage to stop blaming yourself for survival reactions, the fire to reclaim your dignity faster, and the boldness to show up in your full humanity. Go kick some ass.

This post was all about examples of dignity, so you can start giving yourself a break ‘for being selfish’, and shift focus towards what you are protecting when you ARE acting selfishly.

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