How To Be Less Stressed: It’s Time To Take Control (And Not Apologize For It)

Wanna know how to be less stressed without throwing your hands up and quitting every frustrating thing on your plate? This post is all about taking back control of your life by setting healthier boundaries, and doing it unapologetically!

Stress isn’t just about having too much on your plate. It’s the constant tug-of-war between what’s truly yours to handle and what you’ve taken on because, let’s face it, saying NO is hard. If you’re anything like us overachievers, you’re trying to juggle everything: work, family, social obligations.. Because you want to do it all. But here’s a reality check that feels like a bitchslap: You can not pour from an empty cup. And frankly, you shouldn’t want to either.

What you’re going to learn is how to stop carrying what isn’t yours, take ownership of what is, and set boundaries to protect your time, energy and most importantly, your sanity. You’ll discover some Stoic principles about control, learn how to approach overcommitting, and get actionable tips for sticking to your boundaries with more confidence.

After you have learned how to be less stressed by owning what’s yours and ditching what’s not, you will be able to prioritize your energy better, maintain your peace more effectively, and confidently show up for what matters according to your values. The best part? You’ll stop feeling guilty about protecting your well-being and start feeling empowered by it.

This post is all about how to be less stressed, so you can set stronger boundaries, own your energy, and live a life that feels way more aligned with your true self.

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How To Be Less Stressed

Stress doesn’t come out of the blue: it builds up when boundaries break down. Most of us blame stress on external factors: work deadlines, demanding relationships, or too many commitments. But the truth? A lot of stress also comes from within, from people pleasing, taking on things that were never ours to carry, and failing to set boundaries that protect our energy.

In this post, we’re diving as thoroughly as we can into the art of setting healthy boundaries and using control as your ally. Yes, you read that right. Control is your ally, not your enemy! We’re going to explore the Stoic principle of owning what’s yours and releasing what’s not, why control is NOT the bad guy when it comes to boundaries, how to stop overcommitting yourself to preserve your precious energy, and last but not least: going over some practical steps to create boundaries that reduce stress and protect your peace.

Let’s unpack how setting boundaries and owning your energy can be your ultimate strategy to feel less stressed, and way more in control!

A Stoic Foundation: Control What’s Yours, Release What’s Not

Marcus Aurelius had it right all along: ‘You have power over your mind, not over outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.’ The Stoics knew something we often forget: stress isn’t just about what happens to you. It’s how you respond or react. So much of our stress comes from trying to control things we simply can’t or shouldn’t, like other people’s opinions, feelings, or actions.

Think about how triggering it feels when somebody gives your hard work some salty unwanted advice. You can’t control what they think or say. But, when you spiral into self-doubt because of the ‘advice’, that feels unfair and unwanted, right? Here, we need to develop the skill of taking a deep freakin breath, evaluate if there is any truth in the feedback, and if not, let the troll get the least amount of your energy. I know it’s extremely irritating to sit with all this negativity, but developing this muscle will empower you beyond measure. Trolls don’t deserve your care, energy or attention.

Funnily enough, this applies to so many aspects of daily life. Traffic jams? Beyond your control. How you use that time? 100% up to you. The Stoics called this the dichotomy of control, and if you dare to embrace this, it will be a game-changer! When you stop trying to control what isn’t yours, you free up so much energy to focus on the things that ARE within your control: your actions, emotions & boundaries!

Please consider that you do not need to carry the weight of the world. By identifying what’s within your control, and letting go of the rest, you can channel your energy where it actually can make an impact. It’s not about giving up control. It’s about taking the power back, and embracing control as something good.

The Flip Side Of Control: Don’t Be Afraid To OWN It

Many of us have developed a bad connotation when we hear the word ‘control‘. Because tyrannical and narcissistic individuals chase it so hard, we overcompensate for not wanting to be as bad as they are. But by villainizing control, we create the problem of ‘not having things under control’, which of course creates stress. Control is not your enemy, it’s your greatest ally!

Healthy boundaries aren’t about being bossy or overbearing. Controlling other people is a bad thing to do. But controlling your own time, energy and actions, is essential to a good life! Think of it this way: if you set a rule for yourself not to check emails after 7 PM, would you consider that selfish or smart? I think you would agree that respecting your own limits and preserving your energy is a badass skill to have.

Wanna know what the real counterintuitive silver lining is here? Owning your control means you’re less likely to burn out or resent others! When you overextend yourself or let people push your boundaries, you’re essentially allowing them to control you. This leaves you with those nasty stressed out, resenting feelings! But when you own your boundaries, you’re saying ‘This is my time, I can share it if I want to, but I decide how I’m going to use it intentionally’. If by now you’re overwhelmed and feel like things are more out of control than you’d prefer, we’ve got you covered:

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How To Cope With Being Overwhelmed: The Case For Taking Back Control

Setting Boundaries Should Be In YOUR Control!

Imagine having a colleague who always dumps last-minute tasks on you. Instead of staying late and stressing out, you can set that boundary! I know it’s scary to do when you’re not used to it, but the sentence is relatively doable to say: ‘I’d love to help, but I can’t right now. Can you let me know sooner next time?’ Bam! Just like that, you sign off, and breathe out the stress of having done something hard, and celebrate that you did something very freakin scary. And! If you get a backlash for this, please remind yourself: you’re not being difficult, you’re being intentional. You are allowed to have a voice too.

So please ponder on this: Control isn’t something to fear. It’s something to embrace. When you use it wisely, it protects your energy, reduces stress, and allows you to live up to your potential. Healthy boundaries are needed EVERYWHERE in this world! And nothing says ‘I’ve got my shit together’ like knowing exactly where your control starts and stops.

Stop Overcommitting: The Hidden Boundary Breaker

Overcommitting is one of the sneakiest ways we sabotage ourselves. At first glance, saying yes to everything might look like generosity or dedication. But let’s call it what it really is: a boundary problem. Overcommitting often stems from people-pleasing (putting other people’s needs before your own) or worse, lacking self-knowledge. If YOU don’t know your limits, how can you expect them to be respected?

Sorry for this slap in the face. BUT: When you overcommit, you’re not just stretching yourself thin. You’re flirting with self-betrayal. You say yes to every favor, project, or request, even when the toll on yourself is too heavy, and the person receiving barely even notices. This isn’t kindness of any kind. It’s self-treason and can even be abuse.

The Stoics were all about aligning actions with values. Epictetus said, ‘First, say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do’. Translation? Know your priorities, and let them guide your decisions. Saying yes to everything leaves you too drained to say yes to what YOU WANT.

Here’s some sort of an action plan: stop agreeing out of guilt or habit. Next time someone asks for your time, pause and evaluate. Does this align with your goals and capacity? If not, practise saying no. You will feel guilty at first, but this is your conditioning you need to shake! A simple ‘I’d love to, but I can’t right now’, often works wonders.

By learning to prioritize yourself, you’re not being selfish. You’re being strategic. You’re saving energy for the people and tasks that YOU want to dedicate that energy to! It is yours to spend, not others. And I hope you can believe me when I say, that when you commit less, you show up better.

Practical Steps To Healthy Boundaries & Less Stress

Healthy boundaries are quite the buzzword nowadays, and it’s an amazing skill to develop! But like any skill, they require determination, dedication, and tons of practice.

Here’s another reality check about boundaries tho: they work best when YOU enforce them. Too often, we set a boundary and then still hand over the control to someone else. ‘Hey, please don’t call me during work hours’, you hear yourself saying. But then, when the phone rings at 2 PM, YOU still pick it up, fuming internally that they didn’t respect your boundary! Let’s be real: the problem isn’t them. This is on you.

Boundaries are about controlling what’s within your power, not theirs. Don’t keep asking to stop. Instead, don’t answer the phone anymore! Silence the call, keep the focus on your tasks, and ring back when it fits your schedule. See the difference? By taking control, you’re reinforcing the boundary yourself. If you’re afraid of being the bad guy for wanting to set boundaries, we’ll help you out right here:

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How To Be Assertive Without Being The Asshole: 4 Steps To Master Conflict

This principle applies across the board. If you’re committed to leaving work at 5 PM to prioritize family time, stick to it. Don’t wait for your boss to respect your boundaries. Log off and go home. If you’ve decided Saturdays are for self-care, don’t let a guilt trip from a friend derail your plans.

Setting boundaries is really about staying true to yourself, and it’s a two-part process: defining them and enforcing them. The first part is easy ‘I’m not working past 7 PM’. The second part? That’s where you either make it real, or give in and surrender again. Do yourself a favor and show up for yourself. Hold the line, even when it’s hard.

There is beauty in enforcing your own boundaries: it’s empowering. It is within YOUR control, to no longer be at the mercy of others. You’re in control of your own time, energy and bandwidth. And that’s the ultimate antidote to stress.

How To Be Less Stressed? You Gotta Take The Power Back!

Stress does NOT have to be your default setting. By focusing on what’s within your control, embracing healthy boundaries, and refusing to overcommit, you’re taking the power back and stepping into your peace.

Remember: setting boundaries isn’t selfish, even tho it will feel so at first. What it really is, is an act of self-respect. And the stronger your boundaries, the stronger YOU become. Now, go out there and start protecting your energy like the badass you are. I believe in you!

This post was all about how to be less stressed, so you can set stronger boundaries, own your energy, and live a life that feels way more aligned with your true self.

We aim to help you out as much as possible, but please keep in mind that the content is for general informational and educational purposes only. It's not a substitute for professional advice.