How To Be Committed: An Overachiever’s Strategy For Going All-In (And Knowing When To Call It Quits)

Wanna know how to be committed without turning into a burnt-out, overworked mess? This post is dedicated to owning your commitments without losing yourself in the process. Because, of course, flaking out isn’t really an option for us overachievers, but so shouldn’t be saying yes to everything and then crashing into piles of regret.

Ever find yourself jumping into things with full enthusiasm, only to lose steam when the excitement fades? Or worse! Feeling guilty when you do want to quit, but also low-key resenting every second of sticking with it? We overachievers want to be reliable, disciplined, and successful, but DAMN, how this can feel like a trap sometimes! If you commit to something, does that mean you’re stuck with it forever? Are you allowed to walk away, or are you failing then? And how do you stay strong when things get really tough?

What you’re going to learn is how to make solid commitments that actually work for you, without feeling suffocated, drained or doubting on when to walk away. We’ll cover the mindset of ownership that makes commitment easier, how to set non-negotiables so you don’t overcomit, and what to do when things get messy (because they will)

After you have learned to commit with certainty and healthy boundaries, you will be able to stick to your goals without the constant second-guessing, show up for what deserves your time & energy, and handle the rough days like a badass, without spiralling into self-doubt. Most importantly? You’ll be more in control of your commitments instead of feeling controlled by them. No more flaking, no more burnout, just, a solid, empowered strategy to taking charge of what’s valued by you.

This post is all about how to be committed so you can follow through, level up, and actually feel good about the things you dedicate yourself to.

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How To Be Committed

Ever notice how some folks are always chasing the next thrill, hopping from one shiny opportunity to another? It’s like they perpetually swipe right, never settling down. Sure, the allure of the new and exciting is tempting, but true growth comes from planting roots, not just scattering seeds. Pun intended, yeah.

Commitment isn’t a very sexy choice. True. But it’s the sturdy one. It’s about embracing ownership & responsibility, even when the initial spark faded out. It’s also about setting clear boundaries too tho! You need to have your non-negotiables clear and dead-set, so you don’t lose yourself in the process. And when the going gets tough? The committed don’t just pack up and leave, they hunker down, weather the storm, and always come out stronger.

It’s natural to fear commitment, to worry about the constraints it might impose. But remember, while the rolling stone gathers no moss, it also misses out on the rich tapestry that comes with staying the course. So, let’s dive into why embracing commitment can be the game-changer you’ve been avoiding.

Why Commitment Is All About Ownership & Responsibility

Commitment is a big freakin’ level-up compared to dipping your toes in when it’s easy, and bailing when it’s hard. When you’re committing, you’re actually taking ownership of that thing. Not the ugly negative ownership that feels like toxic possessiveness, hell no! But the positive ownership, like a man caretaking his beloved car, paying bill after bill, and cleaning it every Sunday with dedication? Yes, that positive ownership!

It’s about fully accepting something as part of you and your world. Like you adopt what you commit to, and make space for it in your life or inner circle. This applies to all aspects, no matter if it’s a relationship, a job, a personal goal, or your financial future. But the dark side is, once it’s yours, so are the problems.

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Think of the classic example of owning a house vs. renting one. If the sink breaks, and the squeaky kitchen doors drive you insane, the landlord’s not coming over to save your ass. Either you fix it, or you live with it. That’s true commitment: no exit strategy (except for non-negotiables, we’ll get there) and no convenience or passing off the responsibility. Bottom line: You handle the mess that comes with it.

If you commit to a job, that means hitting deadlines even when the project isn’t fun anymore. The flakey co-worker? Not your excuse. Sure it’s unfair. But! You are the one that’s ALL IN, so the mess is yours to clean. Commitment fails when people treat it like a rental. If you don’t truly own it, you won’t stick around when it gets tough. So before you commit to anything, ask yourself: Are you really ALL-IN and ready to take ownership over the bad shit too?

How To Keep It Healthy: Knowing Your Non-Negotiables

So, when you’ve accepted something as part of your world, how do you know when enough is enough? Commitment doesn’t mean chaining yourself to something forever either, right!? True. But it does mean, you stay through any storm, UNLESS your non-negotiables are violated. Simple as that!

Think of a common relationship based on monogamy. You committed to your man or woman, and of course, you’re there for their bad days too. But if he or she cheats? Then that’s your cue to walk, no matter how long he or she was in your inner cycle. You bail, no debate necessary, no guilt or regrets for leaving. Your boundary was crossed, and that’s all the reason you need.

Your non-negotiables are the foundation that keeps commitment from self-destruction. Without them, you’ll be forced to pour yourself into things that drain you, burn you out, and leave you with all the resentment and ugliness of the aftermath. So, before fully adopting something as part of your world, make sure there is clarity and agreement on what is non-negotiable and what is not. You need to be able to stay true to your own values first, before adding commitments on top.

When you’re committed to that job, that’s great. But if your boss expects unpaid overtime every weekend, you can set a boundary and stand your ground. That’s the line you hold! Commitments should strengthen you, not suffocate you. I know this is a hard exercise, but try to get as crystal clear as you can. Know where your borders & limits are BEFORE you commit, so when things spiral out of control, you can put your foot down, and walk away without regrets.

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Why Those Who Commit Embrace The Suck

So, then you’ve committed, and inevitably, those gnarly stormy days show up. Now it’s time to stick around, show up, and do as much as your bandwidth allows. Even when it’s hard, you try to take on what you reasonably can. Yes, it can be boring, yes it can be painful, and yes it can be extremely aggravating and even depressing. You most likely rather be anywhere else.

Another stereotypical example that brings this point home is marathon training. Everyone’s hyped at the starting line. But the ones who committed push through when their legs feel like bricks. Grit researcher Angela Duckworth proved that success isn’t even about talent! It’s about resilience! The ones who make the top aren’t the ones who start strong. They’re the ones who keep going when things suck big time.

So, in the work example, imagine you’re project is dragging, and your team is annoying and complaining all the time. Of course, you wish it to be over! Duh. But it doesn’t really matter, because you committed, and so you will deliver what you can. Even when the initial excitement is gone.

You’re the one who adopted the ’embrace the suck’, meaning quitting is never your first option. You keep going unless a serious reason tells you otherwise. The suck is only temporary. Your commitment is bigger than the bad days. Just keep whispering to yourself ‘Keep Going’, or start singing Dory ‘Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming’

What To Do On Bad Days: How To Apply ‘This Too Shall Pass’

No matter how committed you are, those bad days will come. It’s really up to you to not let them define you. What really helps me here often is to think of analogies. Because it works the same everywhere! The Stock Market? You don’t sell everything the second your portfolio dips? You ride it out because you TRUST the long game!

Neuroscience proves emotions come in waves. Most pass within 90 seconds if you don’t feed them with gnarly firing thoughts. If you want to stay strong and keep going, you mustn’t feed the fire with negativity. That means, even when everything feels like it’s crumbling, you keep whispering enduring thoughts to yourself, and push through as much as you can. It’s important that you listen to your inner compass & stay true to yourself, but keep making little steps forward.

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When your boss snapped at you and you feel like crap, you pull yourself through it. Think: whatever. One setback doesn’t undo all the other progress. You’re still in the game. Make sure you adjust, pivot, and don’t throw out the whole plan because of one dysregulating event. Even when it’s a longer period of distress, try to focus on the bigger picture, and your daily progress towards the goals.

Most especially in the darker days, it’s important for us overachievers to not do the same amount of slaying it hard, as on the good days. Cut yourself some slack, pamper yourself with indulgences for putting up with the bullshit, and make a ‘bare minimum list’. This list contains ONLY the responsibilities that you NEED to do to keep everything else in your life in tact. The ambition and achievement can be unlocked on the good days again. Commitment isn’t about being perfect, and keep in mind: growth is never linear. It’s about getting back up, again and again, no matter what keeps pulling you down.

How To Be Committed (Summary)

Flakey people chase the fun and run from responsibilities. Committed people stand firm, show up in the dark days, and handle the hard stuff even when they don’t really feel like it. Whether it’s work, personal growth, relationships or finances, the real ones stick it out, even when it sucks. They’ve learned to embrace the suck.

So, before you commit, make sure you have set your non-negotiables. Know your walk-away point, and make sure others know them too. Then, own it like it’s yours. Push through the suck: hard days don’t mean stop, it means doing less and enduring with a bare-minimum list. Ride out the lows: One bad period is just a bump, not a dead end. Good luck!

This post was all about how to be committed so you can follow through, level up, and actually feel good about the things you dedicate yourself to.

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