How To Cope With Being Overwhelmed: The Case For Taking Back Control

Wanna know how to cope with being overwhelmed and take back control over your life? This post dives into the power of control, without you having to turn into a ‘Cat-Owning Bond Villain‘.

Feeling overwhelmed can hit you like a tidal wave: your to-do list grows, your stress levels get sky-high & everything feels like it’s slipping out of your hands. If you’re an overachiever like me, then you know how excruciatingly brutal it feels when things spiral beyond your control. But here’s the truth: it’s not about being ‘stronger’, or working harder! It’s about finding a strategy that keeps you feeling like you’ve got everything under control.

What you’re going to learn is why overwhelm is directly linked to control, how your mind reacts to real (or perceived) chaos, and the practical steps you can take to bring back order in your life. I can spoil you now, if you repeat and fine-tune this skill, you can turn this strategy into your personal sustainable growth loop, where you can turn your standard day-to-day shit into fertile soil.

After you have learned these strategies, you’ll feel calmer, more focused, and kick-ass confident about taking back control: not just in moments of overwhelm, but in your everyday life. Let’s do this!

This post is all about how to cope with being overwhelmed by making control your secret weapon so you can stop stressing and start thriving.

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How To Cope With Being Overwhelmed

When everything feels chaotic, it’s like trying to juggle flaming torches while blindfolded; you don’t ‘just worry’ about what’s next; you’re TERRIFIED of which consequence will bite your ass first! The sad truth is that being overwhelmed doesn’t ‘just happen’ because of the number of tasks or stressful factors. The real reason overwhelm is so extremely unsettling, is because you feel the inherent powerlessness in losing control over a situation. It’s what happens when your mind screams, ‘I can NOT handle this!’

The feeling that you can’t keep your shit together anymore is an all-consuming HORROR our bodies have strong allergic reactions to. It doesn’t even matter if it’s ‘just a perception‘, because BOTH are REAL THREATS for the mind. Our brains aren’t built for chaos, so your nervous system will let you know as loudly as possible that something is wrong. The triggers unleash feelings of panic, helplessness, and that infamous ‘shut down completely‘ mode. To make matters worse, overwhelm drains your mental bandwidth HARD. The more tasks, worries, or decisions piling up, the harder it becomes to focus on solutions. You end up in a vicious cycle of stress and indecision; exactly the opposite of what you NEED.

Why Overwhelm Feels So All-Consuming

Let’s talk about the merry-go-round of overwhelm; because chances are, you’ve been on it. Here’s how it goes: the more chaotic life feels, the more you crave control over the situation. But instead of planting a firm flag in the ground and declaring ‘This is where I draw the line’, you push through and through and neglect the ‘this-is-too-much-signals‘ and thus ignore your own boundaries. Spoiler alert: this is what keeps the merry-go-round going.

You don’t say ‘no’ when you need to. You don’t push back when someone dumps yet another responsibility on your plate. Why? Because you’re afraid of being the bad guy for doing so. Afraid of the other party giving you shit for saying no, for being called selfish, and for upsetting people. So, instead of reclaiming control, you decide subconsciously to keep spinning, which of course adds more stress and multiplies the overwhelm. If you’re afraid of being the bad guy for wanting to set boundaries, we help you out right here:

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It’s brutal, isn’t it? The harder you try to ‘push through’, the deeper you sink! It feels like quicksand, all you know how to do is grasp for solid ground, but every move to avoid confrontation or enforce boundaries just pulls you further and further under. And let’s be real here: we’ve even been conditioned to see this struggle as noble. Society loves to tell us that power and control are ‘SELFISH ‘or ‘BAD‘. How dare you say ‘no’ or prioritize your own sanity!?

Here’s the twist tho: control isn’t the enemy. It’s the missing piece.

Overwhelm Vibes Like Powerlessness

The reason overwhelm feels so suffocating is because it’s rooted in powerlessness. It’s the crushing belief that you can’t handle it. Not allowing yourself to set boundaries where you should is the reason things keep piling on. You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you dare to say ‘I can’t handle more right now’, you have to deal with a stressful confrontation. If you don’t dare to say it, you suffer the consequences and keep on spinning.

In this blogpost, I would like to encourage you to see power and control from a less toxic perspective than our culture paints it out to be. Taking control doesn’t mean turning into a steamroller. It also most definitely doesn’t mean that you should try to control others! (That is 100% bad, and you shouldn’t). But owning your space, your time, and being fair about your own bandwidth is a NEED! This is what you NEED to cope with being overwhelmed! It means daring to say ‘This is too much for me right now’, or ‘Sorry, no, I can’t take that on’. You need to set boundaries, not to shut people out because you don’t care, but to create room for your sanity.

Owning That You Need To Feel That Things Are Under Control

Control, when used wisely and cleanly, is the stick in the wheel of the overwhelm cycle. It halts the spinning chaos and gives you a chance to recalibrate. It’s not about being a tyrant, it’s about being your own advocate. And let me tell you, setting a boundary or saying ‘no’ isn’t just self-care: it’s survival. It’s how you reclaim the mental bandwidth to think clearly, make decisions, and actually move forward.

Overwhelm thrives on inaction, on letting chaos pile up while you quietly crumble under the weight. But when you dare to speak up and take control, when you dare to assert your needs, you stop the spiral in its tracks. Control is NOT your enemy. It’s your lifeline.

Your Brain On Overwhelm: Wired To Protect

Ever noticed how feeling overwhelmed makes everything feel CATASTROPHIC? A clear tell of overwhelm is the dramatic narrative inside your head. Because that’s precisely how it feels. Even a mildly annoying email from your boss can suddenly feel like an entire corporate apocalypse! Here’s the shitty part: your brain has zero capacity to distinguish between real chaos and the doom-scenario playing in your head. It reacts to both the same way: Full-on DEFCON 1, fight-or-flight mode.

This is where it gets wild: your brain is WIRED TO PROTECT YOU, but it’s also annoyingly dramatic about it. Any time you face uncertainty or feel like things are spiraling out of control, your nervous system pumps out a ‘Danger! Danger!’ signal. The same hormones that would save you from an actual tiger are now flooding your body because Karen from accounting sent an email marked ‘urgent’. Great.

The Threat Of Things Slipping Out Of Control

Why does this happen? Because to your brain, perception IS reality. It’s ALL treated as a threat. So, when you’re juggling deadlines, household chaos, and the pressure to keep your life from looking like a total dumpster fire, your brain assumes you’re in ACTUAL DANGER and starts freaking out. The result? Racing thoughts, pounding heart, and the dreaded shutdown mode that leaves you unable to focus, let alone get back in control.

This is why overwhelm feels so all-consuming: your brain is SCREAMING, ‘We’re doomed!‘ while your body is gearing up for the battle of the century. The problem with this automatic response is that it’s NOT HELPFUL. Overwhelm thrives on confusion, and when your brain starts spinning out, you lose clarity, focus, and perspective; the exact tools you need to stop feeling overwhelmed.

Starting Investigations On Your Overwhelm

I have some good news: you can totally disrupt this pattern. Sure, it’s counterintuitive, it’s scary and it’s hard. I’m not gonna lie. But! YOU CAN DO IT! You CAN hit pause on your brain’s drama cycle and recalibrate. The first step? Distinguish if your alarm bell went off because of a perceived or actual threat. Start recognizing when your mind is tricking you into seeing chaos that isn’t actually there, identify the triggers and neutralize those. Or, when it’s real, analyze the shit out of your problem and start developing a way out.

This is where our anxiety tracker & problem analysis strategy come in. I sincerely believe that the best way to calm the chaos is to get it out of your system and out in the open. Our Anxiety Tracker helps you pinpoint what’s really stressing you out versus what’s just your brain catastrophizing. It’s a simple but game-changing tool to separate fact from fiction, and helps you develop a strategy to overcome the problems. Your mind can’t spiral out of control if you give it clarity.

The Case For Control: Why You’re Not a Cat-Owning Bond Villain

Alright, let’s talk about the big bad wolf here: CONTROL. Somewhere along the way, we all got sold a very convenient idea that wanting control makes you some kind of villain. Convenient to who you ask? The ones with control of course, most especially those who sincerely want to control others. But wanting control isn’t equal to suddenly stroking a Persian cat, plotting world domination in an ivory tower.

Wanting control over your life isn’t villainy. It’s survival. Control is what keeps you sane when the world feels like it’s burning around you. The real problem? We’ve been taught to confuse healthy control with controlling others. And that, my friends, is where the drama kicks in.

The Only Bad Control Is The Longing To Control Others

Let me be 100% again, controlling others = BAD. It’s toxic, manipulative and makes you the kind of person everyone secretly blocks on social media. But controlling yourself? Your time, your energy, your priorities? That’s the golden ticket! That is the precise recipe to stay grounded, focused and in charge of your own narrative.

If you want to be able to discern the difference between healthy & coercive control, think about CONSCIOUS CHOICE. Healthy control is about making deliberate, thoughtful decisions over your own life, while leaving others their opinion, autonomy and freedom. Think of it this way: You’re not the villain in their story, you’re just the hero in your own.

But let’s address the elephant in the room for all the heavy indoctrination: Isn’t control selfish? Aren’t you just imposing your will on the world? Short answer: nope. Longer answer: also nope. Taking control doesn’t mean running carelessly over everyone else. It means acknowledging what’s in your power to manage and what isn’t, and being okay with that distinction.

Letting go of what you can’t control is JUST AS POWERFUL as owning what you can. This is about being true to yourself!

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You Have The Right To Control What’s Yours

When you focus on what’s within your grasp, you stop wasting energy on things that aren’t your responsibility (like Karen’s bad attitude on your colleagues’s obsession with leaf blowers). This shift isn’t just freeing, it’s life-changing!

So, how do you know you’re owning your life versus steering into villain territory? It’s all about intent:

1. HEALTHY CONTROL + OWNING WHAT’S YOURS (BEING RESPONSIBLE)
   Setting boundaries, daring to say ‘no’ & prioritizing your well-being, all while respecting other’s choices.
2. UNHEALTHY COERCIVE CONTROL + BEING A PUSHOVER
   Trying to force outcomes, manipulate people & micromanage things that aren’t your responsibility.

Want an example? Let’s say you’re organizing a group project. Healthy control means outlining clear roles, communicating expectations and trusting everyone to do their part. Coercive control? Nagging your team every five minutes, rewriting everyone’s contribution and freaking out when someone does it their way instead of yours. See the difference?

How To Cope With Being Overwhelmed (Summary)

The truth is, control gets a bad rep because we confuse it with wanting power over others. But in reality, it’s about self-control and holding the power to maintain your life. When you step into the driver’s seat of life, you stop being a passenger in someone else’s chaos. And let me tell you, there’s nothing evil about that. You have every freaking right to want your life under control. We overachievers NEED that! How else will you get all your shit done?

So, next time you hesitate to take charge because you’re worried about looking ‘selfish’ or ‘bossy’, remember this: Healthy control isn’t a weapon; it’s a shield. It’s how you protect your peace and sanity, create your own stability, and keep overwhelm from running the show. Any if anyone gives you shit for it? Let them think you’re a Cat-Owning Bond Villain. You’ll be too busy thriving to care. Good luck!

This post was all about how to cope with being overwhelmed by making control your secret weapon so you can stop stressing and start thriving.

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